Friday 18 April 2014

"The King is Dead, Long Live the King"


                                        "Elvis has left the mental health ward"

There are some folk who think that Elvis died in 1976 on a toilet seat. Some say he was abducted by aliens, and as I write, is being extensively, anally probed. Thirty eight years of anal probing may seem excessive, but a life time diet of fried peanut butter and banana butties have left their mark. The aliens will need access to industrial strength lasers to carve a path through decades of impacted faecal matter. No matter, aliens who have mastered intergalactic travel will have no problem developing such sophisticated anal probing technologies. So, not to worry then: Elvis is in good hands.

On a banal note. When I lived in Tipton, West Midlands, there was a chap who worked in the local fish and chip shop who claimed he was Elvis. He couldn't sing for shit but he could batter and deep fry a snickers bar in double fast time. Thank you very much.  

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